HOW TO Drive home with more cash consistently?
You MUST read my guide first!
Essential manual for all future bowling competitions:
Intro for Competitor's Guide
By Alan Brizee © 2021 Author of The Path to Excellence and
From Excellence to Success
This article should help you rake in more money than you ever thought possible. Knowing the following 25 competitors will give you the advantage during cash games. When you start making more money than you know what to do with it, just send me 10% of your winnings as you probably would have lost your shirt or maybe your home. Some may even have personalities like two of the characters you'll read here. Most of you wanted to know who might show up and I dug deep and decided it was in my best interest to write about those who wait in the shadows for their chance to send you home with just pocket change. This guide will determine your chances of winning by who showed up to bowl.
These compwtitors can be found in My delightful dictionary and clicking on who they are, will take you there to see their definition.
Since this is on my HOW TO website, I'll tell you:
HOW TO spot these characters.
HOW TO react to their personality.
HOW TO expect what they may tell you.
HOW TO compete against them and
HOW TO have an advantage over them, when competing!
I had loads of fun writting this and hope you have loads of fun determining who you are when you show up to compete! These 25 charactors explain 98% of all bowlers. When you discover a different charactor, please message me so I can give you a shout out when I include those bowlers in the next update of this article. Thanks.
This GREAT league had several of these characters bowling in it!
HOW TO Compete in bowling using my Guide?
Know who your competitors are!
You know them, now SHOW THEM - WHO YOU ARE! Time to rake in some quick
bucks! The show and tell commentary!
The Stats Plus Competitor’s Guide
By Alan Brizee © 2003. Rev. 2014, 2020 & 2024.
This is my Preparatory Observer Prepared Analysis list most bowlers wanted years ago!
Who would have thought that a golf article would make me write one about bowling? In my 60 years of bowling, I've run into most of these characters you'll find here. Some of them may not even exist since the pandemic in 2020.
I have I.D.'d 16 bowlers for the 25 characters. They help give you a running start at who might show up. They may not admit who they are, but I felt it had to be told to keep you informed and one reason you came to my wonderful HOW TO website!
Bowling your own game is my best advice! If you still can't beat them, try reading my HOW TO books so at least, you'll know HOW TO fight back and reclaim some of the money you lost to them!
Bowling memorabilia and some good reads for the pot bowlers.
HOW TO FILL YOUR POCKETS with lots of CASH?
Wait for the competitors you can beat!
SHOW THEM -
You're not there to practice, and you might win their house!
They are washed-up bowlers who have more money than brains. They migrate
nearby when somebody mentions cash games. They will bowl a couple of
games to see if there is new meat in town. This gives them an inside view of
the talent and who they might back when the next set of pot games start.
Their personality is affluent, and they will throw money around like it’s going out
of style. Waitresses and CSA’s will get huge tips from them.
They have been known to say, “You look great kid. If you need some bucks, I’ll
back you for 67% of the action.”
To beat them, you just need a 210 or better. You very rarely have to worry about
them beating you when they’re bowling. Your concern should be who they
are backing and how many pros showed up for the pot games. They
normally will shoot low 200s so a double or turkey will usually pay off. The
problem starts when they say they have lost enough and looking to get their
money back. And now they will only back the good bowlers and will stay all
night to take your money if you let them.
They are the lefty want-to-be’s. Some of these players are not in their “right”
mind out on the lanes. I’ve seen where the lefties have a shot that won’t quit
and they feel the only way to pay their mortgage is continue throwing
back-up balls.
Their personality is always a little left of being right. They know they now have an
“a” game on the left side and a “b” game on the right side. It’s the question of
what game they need for that condition. They will use their “b” game if
they’re winning.
They have been known to say, “Let’s throw back-ups and see who wins.”
To beat them, you’ll need to string strikes so they start thinking that maybe they
should have played their “b” game. The back-uppers are out there for blood
and the reason to show up for pot games. Fake an injury so you only lose a
part of what you started with, if you haven’t won a game. If Ken shows up, he
has had many 300’s, two half 900s and threw a 900 in color pins. You’ll have
a hard time beating him. The others back-uppers can be beat if you fill
frames with mostly strikes because they get confused easily when shooting
at spares.
(Check out Ken in dictionary.)
They are always at the center testing the new balls hoping it makes them better
bowlers. They bother their ball drillers for knowledge in buying the latest and
greatest balls hoping that 300’s are drilled into them. They also try any new
gadget hoping to get one more rev on their ball.
Their personality is being quiet until pot games start when they wake up and
become super competitive. Usually comes to bowl with a four ball bag and
two three ball rollers for competition.
They have been known to say, “I’ve been shooting 750’s with my 2 new balls
and I’m not stopping now.”
To beat them, you’ll need just a couple of balls drilled for the condition and let
them know it’s not your first rodeo. Bowlaholics have been known to win big
once in a while because of all the practice they get in. If you stay away from
open frames, you beat them as they don’t practice shooting spares.
They are always willing to gloat about their 300’s, 800’s and tournament
championships every chance they can. They usually will only bowl pot
games before the good bowlers show up as they can’t brag about losing
pot games. Of course they can shoot some great scores during league, but
when their money can be lost because of on bad shot, the pressure can get
to them. They don’t realize the pot games isn’t about what happened last
month, it about being able to perform under pressure to win the pot. They
show up because they have some money and the ability, but will lose focus
at times and have cost them from cashing.
Their personality is talking about their bowling to everyone at the lanes. If only
there were a few bowlers that cared about their accomplishments. They
especially hate when coaches show up for pot games. They feel that they
know more than most coaches from all the honor scores they shot and
don’t need to learn anything else.
They have been known to say, “I shot another 300 and had 812 last week in the
Friday league.”
To beat them, let them know that they will have to shoot those scores they’re
bragging about to take your money. It will put more pressure on them and
most of them can’t handle the added pressure. Make sure you’re wearing
your 300 and 800 rings so they know you can shoot those numbers as well.
Once they can’t walk the walk on the lanes, they’ll be walking to their car to
go home.
I even bowled against a few of these characters when I was over in Germany!
HOW TO supplement your monthly income!
By knowing the bowlers who show up!
SHOW THEM -
You're there to compete and win to pay your mortgage!
They are willing to help you during pot games, because they think, you’ll be
thinking about what they said instead of focusing on the match. They’ll tell
you all the pros they helped that are now in the Hall of Fame. Most coaches
think that the one ball they brought will be enough to win big money. They
can and have showed that they’re capable of shooting great scores. Most
coaches can’t find a better coach to help with their game so they bowl some
good scores, but not great scores.
Their personality is letting most bowlers know they can reinvent your game and
take it up 2 levels in just an easy two lessons. I can honestly say, they can help
with your game, but not during pot games.
They have been known to say, “After just one lesson, you’ll be shooting 700’s
every other week.”
To beat them, get them to analyze your game. Keep asking them if your push
away is in line with their target. Trying to confuse them will help keep their
scores lower. This way, they’re not thinking about their game. Stay in the
present should be enough to put Benjamins in your pocket.
(Check out Andrew, Bobby & Laura in dictionary.)
They are always complaining about the lane conditions, the breaks their
opponents get and the breaks they don’t get. They kick ball returns, act like
the scoring system is a punching bag and drop balls on the floor in hoping
that this will help their game. They love hearing themselves talk and hope
others are giving them enough sympathy when the struggle to carry strikes.
Some have been known to wear diapers under their jeans.
Their personality is getting the waitress to get them a cheese pizza. (To go with
their whine.) They aren’t happy unless they can bitch about something and
looking for some sympathy from anyone near them.
They have been known to say, “How could that not carry, it was in the pocket.”
To beat them, on every shot they left something, let them know they were
robbed. If they’re not steaming over that 10 pin, reminding them about it
again will usually take them over the edge. Crybabies are always
complaining about something as they’re almost never throwing the ball
good enough to win. They focused on the 10 pin they left five frames ago,
four frames ago and last frame. You do know that maybe once or twice a
season, they bowl good enough to come out ahead. They love taking your
cash almost, and I do mean almost, as much as complaining.
They are more into dancing than bowling. They used to bring their huge boom
box with them, but now because of technology, they only need their phone or
I pad. They turn up the volume so much that someone usually tells them to
turn it down. The one good thing about DJ’s is that they usually play the feel
good 60’s music. A few DJ’s can put up some great scores because they’re
having such a great time listening to music, that they're not so worried about
their score, so they don’t feel much pressure.
Their personality is wearing bell bottom pants and tie-dyed shirts of the Moody
Blues or the Beach Boys. They say hi by giving you a peace sign.
They have been known to say, “You should listen to the Beach Boys in the
mornings.
To beat them, you need to get three friends to ask them to turn down the music
or turn it off. Once they can’t dance their way on the approach, their timing
will be gone, and their scores will also go down.
They are always willing to wager money. They show up hoping for the $200,
$200 and $500 side bet. They seem to never run out of money. They normally
stay away from the $5, $5 and $10 action but will participate if the action is
drying up and it feeds their egos. Most gamblers can shoot in the 270’s so if
they get lined in, you may want to get out with whatever you won that day.
Every dog has their day describes the gamblers the best. When ten bowlers
and side bets of Benjamins are floating around, you’ll see more gamblers
joining the action.
Their personality is flashy by wearing expensive clothes, Rolex watches,
diamond rings and bowling jerseys. They won’t show up in blue jeans.
They have been known to say, “Double or nothing on the next game.”
To beat them, you never double the bet. This will eat at them because they’re
there for only one reason, to empty your wallet. They want you to think more
about the money on the line then your game. If they never lined their pockets
with cash, they would never show back up. But as always, newbies, creeps
and want-to-bees show up weekly, so gamblers continue to show up. So just
never bet more than you can afford to lose.
A few of them even bowled in one of Germany's best tournaments!
HOW TO compete without all the distractions?
Use your GREAT mental game to FOCUS!
SHOW THEM -
That distractions won't affect you, you're there for the cash!
They are known for losing large amounts of cash after about four games. It’s
the thrill of winning early that keeps them coming back. After all isn’t winning
cash the American dream? They seem to forget that after winning early, they
leave with no cash on hand. They’re lined in during practice and never make
adjustments. If it worked the first game, it should be good for the rest of the
day. Pots games are fun when you’re winning, but they forget that it can be
profitable as well. They bring lots of cash and just continue to bowl till they
run out of money.
Their personality is wearing clothes like the homeless. Since they keep losing,
they can’t afford anything better. They never make adjustments and won’t
admit they don’t know how to adjust. One week every two years, they shoot
lights out because their shot holds up the entire night.
They have been known to say, “My shot was there last year, it has to come
back.”
To beat them, show up two games late so the transition on the lanes have
taken place. Tell them they’re throwing the ball pretty good and wish them
luck. Of course you meant bad luck, just hope that it’s not their night. They
have been known to donate two to three hundred dollars almost every week
while winning $50 to $60 once or twice a year.
They are eating cheese three meals a day to give them energy. Since they work
at the center and get unlimited free practice, they know the characteristics of
every lane in their 32 lane center. They can’t wait to make extra money when
bowlers come around for the weekly pot games. Most don’t adjust fast
enough and the reason why they won’t show up every for every pot game.
Making just better than minimum wage doesn’t give them the opportunity to
test their skills every week, because they won’t make enough money from
pot games.
Their personality is their clothes are the uniforms they wear for work. They’re
able to tell you what the highest scoring pair in the center is. And what pairs
to avoid if you want to take home money.
They have been known to say, “Can I get in your pot game, I had to borrow a
few dollars?”
To beat them, you’ll need to bowl games over 6 lanes so you have at least a
chance of taking home some money. Make sure you pick the lowest scoring
pairs for the 9th and 10th frames as this will psyche them out. They can come
out ahead at times, but only if they bowl on one pair. You must not let them
psyche you out with their strikes. Use all your tools in your tool box and your
brain to make the right adjustments to defeat them.
(Check out Joey in dictionary.)
They are looking for a fish to fillet. Traveling from center to center searching for
easy matches to stuff their pockets with lots of cash. Where there are fish that
have some cash, you better believe there will be sharks, coming for the kill.
You know that bowlers normally pay their dues when starting out, but how
much are the fish willing to pay to keep playing with sharks? I’ve seen it
happen where the hustler got hustled because the fish took lessons and now
bowls better. The hustler knows they can only keep a fish, hooked on their line
for a short time.
Their personality is taking everyone’s last dollar. Now the fish on the hook,
wants to return the favor and usually lose even more Benjamins.
They have been known to say, “Come on back kid when you have more cash.”
To beat them, you’ll need to get them off their game by spilling a drink in the
bowler’s area. This way, they’ll be more focused on staying away from the
spill and hopefully away from the pocket as well.
(Check out Dewey in dictionary.)
They are always by themselves in some corner of the center. They even think
there is an ”I” in team (“teiam”, Hawaiian version). If there is doubles action,
they grab their balls and go home. It’s all about them and don’t want to
depend on others. Most of them have been single their entire life. They need
to experience life on their own and are not afraid to announce this to others,
willing to listen. If they bowl in a league, it will be a doubles league to avoid
less interaction with “teiam”mates.
Their personality is doing everything on their own and show up to bowl pot
games in some gaudy shirts and pants. They want to just bowl singles
action, because they don’t need no stinking help. You don’t want to draw this
guy in blind draw doubles.
They have been known to say, “If were bowling doubles, I’m out.”
To beat them, you’ll let them know they must get in a side pot for doubles.
They’ll get upset and won’t score high enough to even claim the last cash
spot. When their money runs out, they’re gone as they won’t ask anyone for
a loan or backing.
L to R: Gambler, Thinker, Shot maker and a Back-uper bowled in the Traveling Masters!
HOW TO have a GAME that does the talking?
Make a Commitment to Excellence!
SHOW THEM -
You're Commitment will never be discarded and you're willing to show them!
Before starting the second half, don't tell me that I didn't give enough info of who you may bowl against. Each person can trick you into thinking they're someone else. There are actors who impersonate others for financial gain. I believe I told you that this isn't an in-depth guide, just a quick reference about those hanging around the alleys across America. It's your money these challengers are after, so if you want to keep most of it, don't fall for their traps or play their silly games.I don't need a call from you to take you home because you lost your car to one of them!
So be careful out there!
The Traveling Masters was the reason why this article was written!
HOW TO know when to bring your "A" game?
When you know you MUST "Proform"!
SHOW THEM -
That they should have used their "A" game, because their "B" game won't be enough!
They are trying to make a living, traveling across the country in search of a few
peanuts that the tour offers. The rookies and young guns need to
supplement their income because of the cutbacks in tournaments. That’s
why many will show up for pot games, as they can almost make more from
bowling pot games as they can out on tour. The pros practice 100 games a
week so they can shoot huge numbers at any given time. And yes, the pros
can be beat, but it won’t be easy. Remember, they get discounted
equipment right from the manufacturer before the public even hears about
it. So armed with the latest and greatest equipment, only the top bowlers at
that center, stand a change of coming out on top any day of the week.
Their personality is that they dress for success with slacks and the latest
jerseys from the manufacturers. They tell everyone about the time they were
crossing with Hall of Famers, and even beating them in a match.
They have been known to say, “If you put in the work to become better, you
could be out here on tour.”
To beat them, you’ll have to bowl some of your best games and focus on what
works. Pros are the real deal and are always ready for action. If you can’t
beat them today after a couple of games, pretend you stuck on the
approach and tweaked your knee so you lose a few bucks. Don’t beat your
head against the wall and let them take all your money. They will soon be
taking your whole house in the double or nothing match, and you’ll be living
on the streets if you continue to bowl and can’t beat them. My suggestion is
to check the schedule for the pros, as if they’re on tour, they won’t be at the
center bowling pot games.
(Check out Earl, Mark & Norm in dictionary.)
They are looking to just mess with your mind. Can you say crazy? Some go the
extra mile and pull out voodoo dolls even if they’re not for you. Some will
chant between shots so the gods will give them better results. They may even
yell during your approach to throw you off your game. Their antics while
you’re bowling can be distracting, but it really fun to watch what they do next.
They will be ready to bowl if they’re winning and take much longer to bowl
when they’re behind. They try to destroy your rhythm in the effort to pry
money from your hand. Some will fill their pockets with rabbit’s foot to show
that luck will be on their side. Most of them need luck just to shoot over 200.
Their personality is wearing dark clothes, because they live on the dark side of
life. Their necklaces will have a skull and may be gold, so it stands out as a
symbol of psychic powers they think they have.
They have been known to say, “I would rather be lucky than good, because
good bowlers don’t need luck.”
To beat them, bowl the lanes and not these idiots destroy your focus. Keep your
eye on the prize as their intimidation works better than most bowlers realize.
They wouldn’t need to psych out their opponents if they knew how to bowl.
They think this is their advantage over you.
They are looking for ways to make big bucks (and no wammys) in pot games
and tournaments by keeping their average low in leagues. They average 180
playing 4th arrow when they ask you for a match. They think there’s a sucker
born every minute, and it could even be you if you’re not on your game. They
bowl out of their minds during pot games and tournaments, when they move
outside into the dry and average 220. Consistency and accuracy isn’t their
asset as their ball has soaked up so much oil that it loses it potential to
actually strike when they need strikes to win. You have to watch out if the pro
shop just drained the oil out of it.
Their personality is having fun bowling badly. Their pot of gold is just over the
hill at the next pot game or tourney. They wear old t-shirts and faded blue
jeans.
They have been known to say, “I can’t believe I missed that 5 pin.”
To beat them, you just need to repeat good shots. Sandbaggers will only bowl
pot games if the best bowlers in the center are bowling a tournament. They
have trouble handling pressure situations because they don’t participate in
any side pots during league. Repeating shots when money is on the line is
not in their game of tricks because of all the oil soaked up by their ball during
league.
They are very accurate bowlers and pick up splits more than half the time. They
have cleaned house on several occasions. They bring eight balls to bowl pot
games so they can open the shot on the lanes after just two games. They
can get into trouble when the high rev rate bowlers deplete the oil faster
than the shot maker can make the right adjustments. Very few will go home
with less cash than they started with. The reason why shot makers miss pot
games is have jobs that they get called into work during the busy season.
Their personality is watching the other bowlers for indications of when
adjustments might be needed. They’re always cleaning their balls to get the
best reaction from them. They get asked to bowl leagues all the time as they
will have only one or two opens for every three games.
They have been known to say, “Go get more cash form the bank. I’ll wait till you
come back.”
To beat them, get a bunch of doubles bets going, so they’ll constantly be
checking on his partner’s scores and over load their brain. If Mr. C. shows up,
all the extra side bets actually help his game. He knows that shooting 279 or
better will be enough to sweep most of the bets and won’t have to worry
what his partners are doing. If you can’t win some of his cash after two sets,
it’s time to regroup next week.
(Check out Dwight in dictionary.)
One of the Pro Bowlers who also wants to help others have more fun bowling!
HOW TO start winning after a few loses?
Become a mentally tough bowler!
SHOW THEM -
You're not easy pickings and your ball will do the talking!
They are always on the phone texting friends, family and relatives. They have
even bowled with their phone in their non-bowling hand. You always have to
tell them when to bowl, so be prepared for matches to last twice as long
when they bowl. They play the lanes so they won’t have to make many
adjustments. This means that they can still score because they turn to the
internet for advice when having trouble. Thinking about adjustments will take
away from texting the one hundred persons that are on their list.
Their personality is hard to describe as they’re glued to their phone and won’t
put it down. It’s not easy even talking to them and nothing matters, except for
their phone. They only show up to bowl so newbies will be another new
person to text.
When they do talk, they say, “I need your number so we can text.”
To beat them, you’ll need to text them before two bowlers before their up so
they constantly looking for when they really are up and get whiplash. Can
you repeat after me, “Easy match”? It will make it harder to bowl and make
adjustments, if their neck is sore from the whiplash. This personality is far the
easiest to beat of the 25 I describe.
They are practicing on the wrong pair, don’t know when it’s their turn to bowl,
bs’ing with their friends instead of being ready to bowl, will also throw the
first ball they grab even if it isn’t theirs and keep an eye on the front door
waiting for aliens from another planet that want to bowl. They bring three
balls drilled the same way and think that each has a different reaction only
because it is a different ball. They think they’re pro bowlers as they’re bowling
for real cash on the line. Some bet $100 a game on the side and went home
winners. After all, winning $200 for the day is more than some pros make
bowling tournaments.
Their personality is wearing tight fitting clothes, mismatched socks and wears
a florescent ’Beam me up Scotty!’ shirt. They carry batteries because they
don’t want to lose the brightness in their shirt. Some will wear goofy hats
because they feel it helps their bowling.
They have been known to say, “I knew that ball felt different.”
To beat them, tell them the ball they haven’t thrown still have few strikes left in
it and may win the pot game. They’re easily distracted, so they figure it may
work. You must keep them guessing about what works because as soon as
they throw a few strikes and figure the lanes out, it very well might end your
day.
They are constantly looking through about five notebooks trying to improve
their game. Then after each and every shot, they input the results into their
laptop. Some even bring small printers to have up to the minute results
because it could affect their score if the stats, the whole stats and nothing
but the stats were not up to date and the standards of the American
Statisticians Association. They can tell you what their average is for each
and every board they have ever played. The stat watchers can put up
numbers depending on the number bowling. When the lanes get drier and
adjustments must be made, they’re always second guessing themselves
and their accuracy goes way down. They are also watching where others
are playing and try to play the area of the lane where no one else is.
Their personality is wearing a backpack for their laptop and binders and
bragging they can out average you playing the three board.
They have been known to say, “I have shot a 300 from 1st arrow, 2nd arrow,
3rd arrow and fourth arrow.
To beat them, you’ll need to bring eight friends down to bowl with everyone
playing a different board to give them less opportunities to score. Once
they’re out of their comfort zone, playing where they only average 202.857,
they are most likely to lose four games before heading home.
(NOTE: This isn't Mr. Stats. It's because I don't need updates after every shot!)
They are willing to talk your arm off if you’re willing to listen. Their stories are
interesting and so many of us become guinea pigs to their tales. Some of
them could write a best seller, except that their brain gets short circuited
when they try to put their stories down on paper. They can wins pots from
time to time, because those that were listening fell asleep. Some of their
stories are actually true to life and usually are interesting if you have the
patience to listen to the very end. Some even tell you how well they threw
the ball many, many, many, many … years ago. The best storyteller, Mr. N.
even knows some great card tricks and wastes that talent because he loves
to bowl more.
Their personality is wearing logo jerseys from the pros or nationals so others
will know they actually lived the story. They want to meet as many bowlers as
they can so they can start telling new stories about those that cross their
path. They know pot bowlers themselves have some great stories and will
listen, only if it is interesting enough.
They have been known to say, “Over 30 years ago, I walked into an alley and
Mark Roth challenged me to a match. I accepted and …” (I wanted the short
version and it would take five pages to compete what they babbled on
about.)
To beat them, ask them about Nationals but beware, it might just put you to
sleep. Remember that I warned you earlier. Every once in a while and late in
the game, ask them to repeat part of their story. It sometimes will put them
to sleep.
(Check out Len in dictionary.) (Check out Len's podcast on Phantom Radio
as the Phantom Strikes Again.)
They are making charts on how to become better. They keep stats for every
pair and as soon as they get home, peck the info into their computer and
print up the new results. The stats are very important to them as they use the
print outs to learn useful information. They know their average each game
and know what pair to bowl pot games on so they have the advantage. They
also what they need to work on to improve their game for their upcoming
practice sessions.
Their personality is taking five minutes to throw each shot as they go through
the motion of throwing the ball before every shot of the match. They check
their logbook to make sure they’re standing on the right board and their
targeting is correct. They carry a graphing calculator to chart their next
adjustment.
They have been known to say, “I should have moved a board and a third
instead of just moving 1 board.”
To beat them, you must let them know every other frame that the lanes are
changing. Of course the lanes are changing, even though you didn’t make
any adjustments. They then calculate that into their equation. They will hit
the pocket, but the entry angle will be off enough so they won’t carry. While
they’re bowling, replace the batteries from their calculator with dead
batteries. It has the program for making proper adjustments based on
carry down, transition point and depletion of oil in the heads. It would make
it harder to win without their calculator, but now it takes ten minutes
between shots as they now have to estimate all adjustments on paper.
(Check out Mike in dictionary.)
Walter Ray Williams is a pro bowler who bowled two-handed to win a PBA regional.
HOW TO defeat the flood of the Two-Handers?
Distract them, so they have to shoot spares!
SHOW THEM -
One hand with your thumb, can be just as good as two hands!
The Two-hander. (A not so popular bowler to bowl against.)
They are always putting both hands on everything including the waitress. They
saw Mr. B. do it on TV, where the pins exploded like throwing a grenade and
they think that’s cool. They try to put more revs and horse power on their
balls then a NHRA event. They don’t worry about their lack of adjusting skills,
because all they need to do is hit the head pin, and most of the pins hit both
side walls to strike. It is true, they won’t strike every time, but with a 97% strike
ratio, they almost impossible to beat.
Their personality is being overly aggressive and trying to pick up on every
woman they see while they bowl. Hint: leave the women at home or you’ll be
paying more attention to them being hit on by these monsters instead of
your bowling. They will drink beer two handed because it’s in the brain that
two hands are better than one.
They have been known to say, “I need to get my rev rate higher to carry those
off hits.”
To beat them, pick the pairs that have the least amount of oil on them. They’ll
be scrambling for less aggressive equipment and might be enough of an
equalizer. You must let them know that spares will win a few games tonight.
They have a four board pocket while you have just two boards. Those added
revs are good when there is a lot of oil on the lanes. These two-handers will
grove a transition point for them after only five shots. This spot will disappear
after about 3 games. If you can’t beat them early, you may beat them late in
the day. It could be a waiting game so bring extra money for that first set of
games. Some of these monsters have been known to hit and run. Don’t be
blind-sided. Instead of the usual $5, $5 and $10, get them in a $5 a game, $10
a set and $20 for a six game match. You will have to stay close in the match
because they try to hypnotize you with their ten in the pit, shot after shot. They
will have a few splits in game four or five, (yes, even a 4 count split) so NEVER,
NEVER, NEVER quit if you have some close losses, your time is coming in
games five and six.
NOTE: The photo on the upper right is a postcard stamped 1909 in Illinois and is my piece of bowling history. The Phoenix post card show is where I found this card. It was made in Germany showing a "wrong" two hander which is now the new normal for some that want to enjoy the great sport of bowling.
These are the bowlers that figured bowling with two hands, would add up to more wins.
HOW TO gain advantages bowling against them?
Have fun and take home their cash!
SHOW THEM -
Why you came and conquered, because you need a pair of new shoes!
They are looking at a wealthier future after tackling the lanes and taking down
some of the best bowlers in the center. They only bowl when their planets in
their horoscope are in line with the other planets, and look up their biorhythm
to see if science is on their side. Then they go to a website for the best time of
day to bowl. Pot games have been delayed due to what websites tell them.
Who said that science could be a good thing? The good news is that they are
only decent bowlers which is why the rest of the pot bowlers wait for them. A
few that believe everything they read did win big a year ago and that keeps
the rest of them, showing up about every six weeks.
Their personality is bringing charts of the planets with them to make the right
adjustment at the right time. Their problem is that they bring too many
charts and this slows the pace, until everyone says that if they don’t bowl,
they get zero for the frame.
They have been known to say, “The planets tell me to use a different ball and
move in.”
To beat them, bring some fake charts and replace the ones they brought to
confuse them. Your charts will indicate they need to move outside when the
lanes are breaking down. After they figure that the planets aren’t helping,
they usually bowl one more set before going home.
(Check out Steve in the dictionary.)
They are only to be found on an easy walled up house shot. They stay away
from conditions that require any accuracy on the bowler’s part. When the
transition takes place and they have to make the second adjustment, they
start crying to the front desk person and to the manager if he’s around. He is
a one-dimensional bowler and won’t play the lanes out of his comfort level.
They know that to beat you, they must have their condition on the lanes to
stand a chance to win. They may only bowl one set unless the lanes will
hold up for a second set. They have shot several 300’s and a few 800’s, so
they can bowl up a storm until the transition changes the lanes.
Their personality is being arrogant and they’re hard to be around. They gloat
after they beat you and NEVER let you forget about it. Their heads will swell
after winning a few games to match their egos.
They have been known to say, “There’s a nice shot out there. I wished they
could learn to keep this shot out there for at least eight games.”
To beat them, you must pay the lane man a Benjamin so he won’t add anything
to thicken the oil so the shot will break down sooner. Since the wallbaby will
leave after maybe two sets, you must destroy his shot from the start. Tell the
wallbaby that you want a rematch for double the action and hope he didn’t
pay the lane man two Benjamin’s to double the oil for today’ pot games.
Remember that he bowls only to clean you out and you throwing aggressive
equipment, will change the condition sooner than he expects.
(Added by Joe P., 2014)
They are the center’s best bowlers. They have the best mental game of all the
local bowlers. They very rarely ever come out behind for the day. They know
how to adjust and have made them before they’re needed to continue
throwing looooooong strings of strings of strikes. They bring just three balls
to the pots games to keep their game simple make adjusting to defeat
everyone in their way of cashing for that top spot. They aren’t rev dominate
players as they are strokers who are as accurate as any pro on tour. They
practice at least twice each week as well bowling two leagues to stay
competitive. Their focus is unmatched from all the other creatures who show
up for the cash games. They will win about 67% of the time and if they’re short
of funds, they’ll find a backer within a few minutes. You can only hope that the
zoner is bowling a tournament or going to a concert later that day. If you can
get some doubles matches with him as your partner, you could double or
triple the money you’ll win. With them as a doubles partner, he’ll help keep
you lined in and stringing strikes. Warning: they won’t bowl doubles with just
anyone. You’ll have to have shown in the past months, that you could handle
the pressure and are a team player.
Their personality is being prepared for anything as no one knows what the
future holds. They may be the first to show up for pot games getting mentally
psyched up for taking home your cash unless you can post some impressive
numbers. They’re not there to make friends. They show up so at the end of the
day, they’ll get the respect they deserve as well as your cash.
They have been known to say, “After you left that split, I moved one and one
and threw another eight bagger."
To beat them, you’ll need probably need to shoot 279 or better each game.
When the money is floating around, throwing the first ten happens almost
weekly. You can’t psyche them out. You’ll need to bring all your cranker
friends to dry the lanes up and maybe you’ll stand a small chance to win.
If you think of bowling blindfolded, you’ll still end up with the short stick.
They’ll just move in a little with a more aggressive ball and still carry strikes.
Bringing you “a” game and string strikes from the beginning is your only
chance.
(Check out Scott in the dictionary.)
Be careful about getting in countless brackets so you don't lose your shirt!
HOW TO visit Optionville and take home cash?
Don't bet your house to any of them!
Don't lose your house to a crazed bowler! You don't want to go to a hotel, should you lose!
NOW, are you absolutely sure you still want to bowl pot games against some of these crazed individuals? If you are, you also may have more money than brains. Three of these personalities, if and when they show up, would empty some of your wallet. But if you averaged 240 or better, you probably won’t go home broke.
My thinking is to bowl two sets and decide if bowling more sets would make for a profitable day. It’s about the how and the who. No, not the rock group, The Who. Who is bowling and how many are going to keep bowling? Who has been winning all the money and how many want to raise the stakes? These questions determine the chances you'll cash and what first place will pay. It will come down to who do I have to beat for first place? After all, it’s not a popularity contest, it’s about taking home more cash than what I started with.
NOW for a reality check. What group do you fall under? Will the real you please stand up, be counted and claim one of these groups. You’re not standing because you fall under two groups. Well, you just have to decide which one best describes you. I need an accurate count for my fantasy bowling league 😊.
As far as the pot games, normally we bowl for $5, $5 and $10 and bump it to $10, $10 and $20 per set after some left due to losing their motgage payments on side bets. If 17 others showed up next week, that’s a super turnout with three pairs being used, with six on a pair. If you’re keeping notes and I’m sure you are, that makes 18 bowling two game sets. With 1 in 6 cashing, 3 would cash each game and set for a total of 9 spots. That’s 50% of the bowlers and I like my chances to grab some dough. It would pay $40, 30 and $20 each game. $100, 60 and 20 would be for totals. If high both games, $180 for your $20 investment. Not a bad day at the office. Years ago, it was more fun to bowl pot games than league because of the instant paydays, where league paid you after 35 weeks. For a few of these clowns that show up every time for pot games to try to take your wallet, the lanes are their office. Expect them to mess with your mind and take home some of your money from time to time.
And now of course most of you want to know who I am? I’m more the gambler as I love the competition. Now I covered most of you who you may meet, what’s at stake to win a steak, and how to survive this action jungle. You MUST take no prisoners and show them what you got. If you leave with the shirt on your back, no broken bones, most of your equipment and even just one dollar in your pocket, well done. You survived the day. :) Congratulations on not losing your house.
If I didn't say it, and I don't recall saying it, don’t take this article seriously as it is more for fun, even though some of what I wrote is really close to real life, at least for some bowlers that I have read about on the internet and met in person. Even though I don’t believe everything I read on the internet, when names get used to describe a story, it‘s possible that it could have happened. I started this article after seeing an article in a golf magazine. It reminded me of the different types of pot bowlers that I bowled against 40 years ago at Keglers Lanes on Stone Avenue with over ground ball returns. When I started bowling pot games, a few called me “fish” because I donated for a short period of time. After about a year, some referred to me as ”shark”. I paid my dues, know the value of spares and became a better bowler from it. Over the last 20 years, there’s almost no pot games to be found. These are changing times, but is it for the better? All bowlers have to welcome chance if you continue to bowl. Get over it alraedy! I hope you enjoyed reading about the past just a little bit and find some action in your town.
Some pros have shown up to bowl with no money on them and left with hundreds lining their pockets. Seriously, this actually happened, and they lived to tell us about it. When I heard this from different sources, it’s really hard to believe that it happened, but there’s a good possibility it did.
ONE FINAL NOTE: This article would be better with drawings for each. I’m not much of an artist so I won’t attempt it at home. Stick figures are not the answer. If someone out there wants to accommodate me with drawings, I’ll publish them and get them credit. Thanks
Optional events are where some of these characters will show up! Be careful!